it just seemed like a good idea…

That picture is the only one I have of some buses. Taken in 2006 during a downpour somewhere near Tottenham Court Road, I think, It’s the only picture I have of a bus because they are neither photogenic nor especially interesting and I have spent much of my life ensuring I don’t have to travel on them. I’ve lived in London for 14 years but reckon I’ve made about as many London bus journeys in that time. That’s about to change.

This was not a scheme dreamed (dreamt? no, looks all wrong) up on a drunken night down the pub, when ideas such as this are tossed around in jest and forgotten as soon as you are home. Rather appropriately, I came across the idea to travel from start to finish on every London bus route on a web forum, www.cookdandbombd.co.uk. Ostensibly, it’s a site where fans of Chris Morris and Peter Cook hang out, but given neither of those two characters are exactly prolific (Mr Cook at least has an excuse) discussion is easily sidetracked and the idea to travel on every London bus was raised in a thread entitled ‘What’s the bleakest snippet of conversation you’ve overheard?’ which says it all really. However, the thought of such an undertaking then wormed its way into my consciousness, laying its nefarious eggs until they hatched at 3am a few nights ago as I lay there trying to sleep having tended to my apparently insomniac 17-month-old son. If Thomas hadn’t woken, perhaps I would have slept soundly through the night and all this would be the monkey on someone else’s back, but as usual, he didn’t and it’s not. Still, as the cod-philosophical giant clothes-peg that sits on my desk says – the journey is the reward. It’s never ‘you’ll find total life fulfillment on your 360’ is it?

I have no idea if anyone has done it before – I’m sure someone must have done – but that’s not really the point. The point is that I have made a chuffing website and told incredulous workmates, so now I have to do it. I could spout all sorts of  Freudian theories as to why I feel compelled to do this, but again, that’s not the point. At this moment, there is no point. The point will become apparent as I travel. Perhaps the hours crawling around London’s streets will help me learn more about myself. Perhaps I’ll finally finish the book I’ve been writing for three years. Or perhaps I’ll just take some mildly amusing photos of absolutely no significance. Statistically, I’ll get mugged, although I have no actual statistics to back this up.

The basic London routes start at No 1 and go up to No 499, with only a few gaps. Those between 500-700 are basically part-time services and school buses, which I shall avoid for obvious reasons, and after that there are those with letter prefixes. I shall tackle them last. In all, it’s over 600 routes. I haven’t worked out mileage or how long this is likely to take, because I’d probably abandon the whole thing immediately.

So, where to start? At No 1 of course. My first plan was to travel on them sequentially, beginning at Tottenham Court Road with No 1 and ending at Gallows Corner Tesco in Havering on the No 499. But early research has suggested this may be impractical, unless I want to spend as much time traveling to the next route as I do on the actual route. So, I shall start at No 1, which runs from Tottenham Court Road Station to Canada Water. From there, who knows? Probably the No 199 to Catford, but have you been to Catford?

P.S – I’d forgotten, there is one more photo of a bus on my computer. As if I wasn’t treading on thin ice already, it’s one from our wedding day that is hanging about three feet from my head. Thanks Mrs A. She’s the mother-in-law currently shaking her head.

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